Posts tagged focus

Resolutions for 2015? How do you succeed? Why do you fail?

life coaching, colouryourdream,coaching, life, purpose, goal, 2015

One of my resolutions this year is to read through the Bible in one year. I do this with an APP (BiOY), where Nicky Gumbel (a Vicar from England) puts readings together from the Old and New Testament and then he writes a very good (in my opinion) explanation about these chapters and how we can apply them in our daily life.

January 1 he wrote: “ I belong to a squash club that is also a gym. Each year on 1 January they bring in extra gym equipment. The place is packed out. By about 7 January, they move out all the extra equipment as most people have given up their New Year’s resolution and the club returns to normal!” *

Today is the 7th January. Have you already given up on your New Year’s resolution? Or don’t you even bother making a resolution, because it never works?

Why do you give up and why does nothing really changes – even if you want it so badly?

Dr. W. Edwards Deming says: “Nothing changes without personal transformation.”

I guess this is the key!

Most people’s tendency is to try and manipulate their environment, e.g. they change jobs, friends, spouses… But the real answer is not the external, but the internal. Personal transformation will lead to a transformation in other areas of your life.

Some people are not intentional in their personal development and that is why they grow very little. The people who focus on personal development grow rapidly, e.g. socially, in their marriage, in character, spiritually, in their physical fitness and health, in service to others…

That’s why I love coaching so much, it focuses on the present and the future. Through the coaching process the client is able to see more clarity. It is like having on glasses, seing a clear picture, whereas before it was very blurry.

Often I find it hard to focus, because I have so many thoughts and ideas in my head and I don’t know sometimes how to bundle them. In our world there are so much “noises” and impressions around us that it is hard to focus on the things that are (most) important to us.

A life coach helps to focus. I experience this with my life coach. Sometimes I think I don’t really have anything to talk about, but after the coaching session I feel encouraged and I have specific action steps to do, which I wouldnt have really focused on one hour by myself. And my coach keeps me accountable which I find very helpful!

A coach focuses on potential, he sees peoples abilities for what they are at this moment and what they can become. People are always changing – but not always developing. To develop means to increase in understanding, skill or character.

Are you intentional in your personal development? How did you develop personally in the last year? How could you develop (more) in 2015?

Do you know people who expanded a lot in their professional life, but not in their personal life? Some people take on a lot of responsibilities in their professional life and learn and grow, but in their personal development they limp.

A lack of holistic development in one area of life can negatively effect other more developed areas of a person’s life, e.g. lack of character development – especially people in their 30’s (or 40’s), when they have a lot of responsibilities in their professional life. Have you seen leaders “crash”, because their personal, spiritual and character foundation couldn’t support their expanded professional responsibilities?

(summary Keith E.Webb: Core Coaching Skills).

As a life coach I ask my clients mainly questions. And through these questions they reflect, think critical, think creative, think in different directions, make decisions.

Have you noticed that when you make a decision out of “yourself” and this decision is not forced unto you – you are most likely to do it? That is how coaching works: it draws out what is in the client – the client has the answer! The coach only helps to draw out what is inside the client already.

The coaching process is focused on discovery. The client discovers with the help of the coach: new self-awareness, insights, ideas, learning, attitudes, facts, realizations…

After this discovery what happens next? If the process would stop here it would have been only a nice conversation with not much change.

Without action there is no change. Now comes the action!

(summary Keith E.Webb: Core Coaching Skills).

Example: if you make a new years resolution that you want to loose weight and you don’t put this into action (e.g. exercising, eating healthy), nothing will change – it only stays a wish, but there will be no change. Also if you don’t explore the “WHY” probably nothing changes or only for a short period of time. Ask yourself: Why do you want to loose weight and what benefits will it have?

Without asking the question why and then taking action steps you will probably fall back into bad habits and you will give up your resolution of loosing weight.

Nothing changes without personal transformation.” (Dr. W. Edwards Deming)

??? What are your thoughts on personal transformation??? How do you put into action what you discovered, what you want to do or what you want to become??? Who helps you with personal transformation??? How do you know that you grow personally (e.g. in character)???

(* BiOY APP, Author: Nicky and Pippa Gumbel)


If you want to know more about how to find your life purpose, your strengths, your potential, goals, dreams, inner peace and joy if you want to live a satisfying life and see personal growth, then coaching might be for you. You can find more here:


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Emotional intelligence – how do you talk to others?

life coaching, colouryourdream, purpose, goal, dream, emotional intelligence

For some people this comes more easy than for others, but we all can learn how to be better in this regard:

To be socially aware, you must be socially present and remove distractions- especially the ones inside your head. To clear away the clutter, don’t interrupt the other person, squelch the voice that is planning your response, and refocus your attention on the other person’s face and words.“

When you talk to others do you sometimes think what you will say or answer next? Watch yourself when you talk the next time to somebody, if you really listen to the person and if you really focus on their words. Are you also able to just pause after the person has said something or do you just want to „get rid“ of all your thoughts you have already in mind while the other person is talking?

What is your experience? When is it more easy for you to pause and when not?

( Book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Strategy #39)



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Colouryourdream Purpose Goal Dream Rose                    (c) colouryourdream

Just read this quote today and thought: Oh yes! This my big wish: to use the talents God gave me. Often I see so many opportunities what I could do: but I only want to do what God wants me to do and I want to use all the talents God entrusted to me.

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.” ~Erma Bombeck

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Do what you can


This foto shows it: I like books – especially about personality. The ones you see in this foto are not the ones I usually read =) This foto was taken at the world exhibition EXPO 2010 in Shanghai. It was great to be there, cause it reminded me of my time 10 years ago at the EXPO in Germany where I worked in my summer break for around 4 weeks. It was a GREAT experience!

And I remember: I was introduced to the world of INTERNET and EMAIL. Wow – what a different world! And now 10 years later it’s so normal to have internet. Unbelievable!

Since about one year I only buy E-Books, cause I can take them everywhere and I don’t have to decide which book to take: cause all books are constantly in my travel luggage: around 17! I got so fed up of carrying all my heavy books around the world that I started to buy E-books. And I love it!
But the problem is, that I try to read around 5-6 books at once. So it takes a while to finish them =)

And when friends recommend books to me I am interested in, I can’t resist bying them.

So lately I bought the E-book: The “Do what you can” plan by Holly Gerth. I want to summarize a bit what I read so far (of course I haven’t finished it yet, cause I am reading many books at once =).

Already in the introduction its says, why this book is for me:
“If you’ve ever made a goal or resolution and not kep it, this is for you.
If you’ve ever said “When things get back to normal, then I’ll… this is for you.
If you’ve ever felt too tired to do what you know you really need to do, this is for you.

Our culture tells us that we have to “Go big or go home.” But research on change reveals a very different story: it’s the small things that make the greatest difference over time.”

I am a perfectionist – as I told you in another post already. And I have a bit the mentality: Go big or go home. So sometimes I think – if I can’t do it all at once, I don’t do it. And then I loose my motivation cause I have unrealistic goals.
As I am writing this post I am thinking of a special person who will smile when reading this =) and maybe thinks: I told her many times……….
Some people are very constant and they achieve a lot! They do small steps but these small steps constantly. I really admire persons like this. Cause I am not the type of person. My personality is either big or nothing. But that’s not good.
I started to be a bit different and to try to be a bit more consistent – sometimes it works, sometimes not. But I am working on that.

Same with my post. My goal was to write 2 posts a week, but that was a way to high goal for me: unrealistic. And a while I didn’t write any post on this blog and got frustrated cause I didn’t reach my goal – so instead of writing once a week I stopped for a while.

So a realistic goal for me is probably 2 posts a month.

As I was reading in this book I just mentioned, it describes my person further:

“I want to achieve great things. I want to do it all or none at all (…)
It’s time to shrink the change you have in mind down to a more manageable size (…).
Decide on the minimum you’d like to accomplish in a particular area of your life (…). Then divide that by about half (…)
A small goal that actually happens and can grow is better than the grandest one that remains a fantasy (…)
Don’t let unrealistic expectations or idealistic ambitions hold you back any longer.”

Oh boy: that is so ME!

I would love to hear your experiences……… Maybe you are very different, maybe you have a good advice, maybe you have the same struggles!? I would love to hear from you.

You can post a comment on this blog or write me an Email:
Thanks for sharing your experiences!

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What is your purpose in life?

colouryourdream goal purpose dream flowers photography

I love tulips! When I look at this picture I see many beautiful white tulips – but every tulip is different. They may have the same colour on this picture – but no the exact same shape, height…

God created everyone of us different. And for a special purpose.

The question is: What is MY purpose in life?
How would you answer this question?
Since a very long time I am asking myself this question: What is my purpose in life? What does God want me to do in life?

I don’t just want to live my life somehow – I want to live it to the fullest and I want to fulfill the purpose God designed for me.

My favorite App at the moment is from Rick Warren: Purpose driven life. I could mark everything I read. Here are some quotes that I really like:

“It is impossible to do everything people want you to do. You have just enough time to do God’s will. If you can’t get it all done, it means you are trying to do more than God intended for you to do (or, possibly, that you are watching too much television).

Knowing your purpose focuses your life. It concentrates your effort and energy on what’s important. You become effective by being selective.

Without a clear purpose, you will keep changing directions, jobs, relationships or other externals – hoping each change will settle the confusion or fill the emptiness in your heart.

If you want your life to have impact, focus it!

Never confuse activity with productivity. You can be busy without a purpose, but what’s the point?

Knowing your purpose prepares you for eternity. What ultimately matters most will not be what others say about your life but what God says.

Question to consider: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?”

God gave me many gifts and he wants me to use them. Since a very long time it was my dream to become a life coach. I never gave up on this dream. Finally last year this dream came true and I coached already a few people. This is what really gives me joy! To help people reaching their goals and live out their purpose in life

Right now I am actually looking for more people who want to be coached by me. People who want to reach their goals and just need somebody who helps them to move forward.

Are you looking for a change next year? Or you don’t know how to reach your goals? Or you are feeling overwhelmed and are unable to move forward? Or do you need a christmas present for someone?

It doesn’t matter where you live – I coach people from different parts of the world on skype!
If you are interested you can contact me:


Quotes from the App: The Purpose driven life – what on earth am I here for, Rick Warren

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