Archive for Questions

Resolutions for 2015? How do you succeed? Why do you fail?

life coaching, colouryourdream,coaching, life, purpose, goal, 2015

One of my resolutions this year is to read through the Bible in one year. I do this with an APP (BiOY), where Nicky Gumbel (a Vicar from England) puts readings together from the Old and New Testament and then he writes a very good (in my opinion) explanation about these chapters and how we can apply them in our daily life.

January 1 he wrote: “ I belong to a squash club that is also a gym. Each year on 1 January they bring in extra gym equipment. The place is packed out. By about 7 January, they move out all the extra equipment as most people have given up their New Year’s resolution and the club returns to normal!” *

Today is the 7th January. Have you already given up on your New Year’s resolution? Or don’t you even bother making a resolution, because it never works?

Why do you give up and why does nothing really changes – even if you want it so badly?

Dr. W. Edwards Deming says: “Nothing changes without personal transformation.”

I guess this is the key!

Most people’s tendency is to try and manipulate their environment, e.g. they change jobs, friends, spouses… But the real answer is not the external, but the internal. Personal transformation will lead to a transformation in other areas of your life.

Some people are not intentional in their personal development and that is why they grow very little. The people who focus on personal development grow rapidly, e.g. socially, in their marriage, in character, spiritually, in their physical fitness and health, in service to others…

That’s why I love coaching so much, it focuses on the present and the future. Through the coaching process the client is able to see more clarity. It is like having on glasses, seing a clear picture, whereas before it was very blurry.

Often I find it hard to focus, because I have so many thoughts and ideas in my head and I don’t know sometimes how to bundle them. In our world there are so much “noises” and impressions around us that it is hard to focus on the things that are (most) important to us.

A life coach helps to focus. I experience this with my life coach. Sometimes I think I don’t really have anything to talk about, but after the coaching session I feel encouraged and I have specific action steps to do, which I wouldnt have really focused on one hour by myself. And my coach keeps me accountable which I find very helpful!

A coach focuses on potential, he sees peoples abilities for what they are at this moment and what they can become. People are always changing – but not always developing. To develop means to increase in understanding, skill or character.

Are you intentional in your personal development? How did you develop personally in the last year? How could you develop (more) in 2015?

Do you know people who expanded a lot in their professional life, but not in their personal life? Some people take on a lot of responsibilities in their professional life and learn and grow, but in their personal development they limp.

A lack of holistic development in one area of life can negatively effect other more developed areas of a person’s life, e.g. lack of character development – especially people in their 30’s (or 40’s), when they have a lot of responsibilities in their professional life. Have you seen leaders “crash”, because their personal, spiritual and character foundation couldn’t support their expanded professional responsibilities?

(summary Keith E.Webb: Core Coaching Skills).

As a life coach I ask my clients mainly questions. And through these questions they reflect, think critical, think creative, think in different directions, make decisions.

Have you noticed that when you make a decision out of “yourself” and this decision is not forced unto you – you are most likely to do it? That is how coaching works: it draws out what is in the client – the client has the answer! The coach only helps to draw out what is inside the client already.

The coaching process is focused on discovery. The client discovers with the help of the coach: new self-awareness, insights, ideas, learning, attitudes, facts, realizations…

After this discovery what happens next? If the process would stop here it would have been only a nice conversation with not much change.

Without action there is no change. Now comes the action!

(summary Keith E.Webb: Core Coaching Skills).

Example: if you make a new years resolution that you want to loose weight and you don’t put this into action (e.g. exercising, eating healthy), nothing will change – it only stays a wish, but there will be no change. Also if you don’t explore the “WHY” probably nothing changes or only for a short period of time. Ask yourself: Why do you want to loose weight and what benefits will it have?

Without asking the question why and then taking action steps you will probably fall back into bad habits and you will give up your resolution of loosing weight.

Nothing changes without personal transformation.” (Dr. W. Edwards Deming)

??? What are your thoughts on personal transformation??? How do you put into action what you discovered, what you want to do or what you want to become??? Who helps you with personal transformation??? How do you know that you grow personally (e.g. in character)???

(* BiOY APP, Author: Nicky and Pippa Gumbel)


If you want to know more about how to find your life purpose, your strengths, your potential, goals, dreams, inner peace and joy if you want to live a satisfying life and see personal growth, then coaching might be for you. You can find more here:


Comments (2) »

Are you interested in others?



life coaching, coaching, life, colouryourdream, understanding, purpose,goal

Do you know people well? Are you open with your friends, aquaintances and family?

Do you understand them? Do you know why they do the things they do? Are you interested in them? How do you show that you are interested in them? How do you find out if you understand them?

I think many people don’t take the time to really understand a person. Instead they make up their mind why a person is the way she/ he is or why a person reacts a certain way. Many people are only interested in themselves and can’t bother to get to know other people very well.

I love it, when people ask me questions, because it shows that they are interested in me, want to know something about me or want to know my opinion about a topic. I also love to ask questions and find out more about people – I find it fascinating to get to know people on a deeper level. A great way is to ask questions.

When people know you well, there’s less room for them to misinterpret you. Make the time to be more open with friends, coworkers, or family about why you do the things you do. Also the more you show interest in them, the better shot you have at understanding them well, too. Be curious about who they are and why they do the things they do.“

It is good to ask questions – not only to people we don’t know (well), but also to people we know very well (or we think we know well). You will be surprised what you find out about a person when you ask them different questions. Sometimes we think that we know a person very well, but when we start asking questions we realize that we don’t.

??? What questions do you like asking??? What do you like about asking questions? Why don’t you ask questions? What holds you back from asking questions? What do you like about when others ask you questions???

(Quote: Book: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Strategy # 50)

Comments (6) »

%d bloggers like this: