Posts tagged Personal growth

Your emotions effect others

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How does it effect you when others around you are in a bad mood, say bad words or just look bored? I think some people literally “take” the emotions of others on themselves, it effects them a lot how other people behave. Some people seem to not care at all and they live in their own world and for them it’s not a “big deal” how others react and show their emotions.

Have you noticed that you impact others with your behavior?

Emotions are the primary drivers of your behavior. It’s important you understand the effect they have on the people around you. To observe the ripple effects from your emotions, watch the immediate impact in other people’s faces or behavior or ask them how they are affected by your emotions.”

I think very sensitive people “feel” the emotions of other people and it has an effect on them. Watch yourself how the behavior of others effect you and how your behavior effects others.

??? What’s your experience ???

(Quote: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Strategy #2)

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If you want to know more about how to find your life purpose, your strengths, your potential, goals, dreams, inner peace and joy, if you want to live a satisfying life and see personal growth, then coaching might be for you. Contact me for a complementary 30 min. coaching session: colouryourdream@web.de
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What is your plan for 2015? Do you need help for reaching your goals?

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I wish you all a happy and very productive new year 2015. I hope your new year started very good – mine did!

1st of January I sat down and wrote down some of my goals for 2015 and what is important for me to remember each day/ each week.

So far I have been pretty good with my „achievements“ and I hope that I can maintain this positive energy and determination.

I made a creative „collage“ for 2015 (I do this every year since a few years) and I put it on my desk, where I can see it every day: what’s important for me in 2015, what do I want to remember each day! What are my goals?

At the same time I know that achievements are not the most important thing for me in my life. More important for me is what I become!

One quote I put on my collage is: „The most important thing in your life is not what you do – it’s who you become.“ Dallas Willard

This following quote speaks about this as well and I find it very good and challenging:

For everything you want in life, there is a price you must pay, in full and in advance. Decide what you really want and then determine the price you’ll have to pay to achieve it. Remember, to achieve something you’ve never achieved before – you must do something you have never done before. You must become someone who you have never been before. Whatever you want you’ll have to pay a price measured in terms of: sacrifice, time, effort and personal discipline. Decide what it is and start paying that price today.“ Brian Tracy

How can you reach your goals in 2015? By yourself or with the help of someone?

I am happy that I have help and encouragement in reaching my goals: a life coach.

I am a trained life coach but I also have my „own“ life coach who draws out the best in me and who helps me to reach my goals. My coach comes from Europe and it is a great thing that we can do our coaching sessions on skype. Some people think it’s weird on skype, but when they try it out some like it even better than in person =)

I am very happy that I am a life coach (this was my dream and goal for many many years and since a few years I coach people in different continents) and that I am able to help and inspire people to maximize their personal and professional potential.

The year 2014 was very encouraging for me and my clients. They gave me feedback that I helped them see „more clearly“ and that they never would have been there where they are now without the coaching (personal and professional).

I really love being a life coach and my passion is:

– to see people become that which they were meant to be, by encouraging them to use their unique gifts, act on their strengths, and discover the courage to facilitate their journey of personal growth.

How did you experience the last year? Did you reach your goals which you set in the beginning of 2014? If yes: great! Congratulations! If not: what do you think – why didn’t you reach them? What help would have been needed for you?

Are you determined to reach your goals in 2015?

How do you approach it?

Who can help you?

I am happy to coach you (in person or on skype) and help you realize and achieve your goals and dreams.

If you (or your friends) are interested Email me: colouryourdream@web.de

Wishing you a wonderful, blessed and worthwile year 2015 and that you “become someone that you have never been before.“

… to achieve something you’ve never achieved before – you must do something you have never done before. You must become someone who you have never been before. -Brian Tracy

??? What do you want to achieve this year? What did you never do before???

What kind of person do you have (want) to become??? What price do you have to pay???

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Our emotions

 

 

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When we negate, deny, or disown our emotions we might find ourselves blowing up or ‘going off’ on others with little or no provocation. We can only repress our feelings for so long. Eventually, they will demand to be heard. When we pay attention to our emotions and not judge them as irrational and therefore unacceptable, we can begin to receive the gift of insight that our feelings offer.“

??? Do you have any expriences with this – with yourself or others???

(Quote from: Jeanine Austin)

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How to improve understanding between individuals?

In my teacher studies I came across the „Johari Window“ and just a few weeks ago again. I had already forgotten about it and it was very good to read up on it again.

I find it very helpful.

The Johari window is a technique created by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in in the United States. It is used to help people better understand their relationship with self and others.

The two key ideas behind this tool is that you can build trust with others by disclosing information about yourself and with the help of feedback from others you can learn about yourself and come to terms with personal issues.

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There are 4 areas:

  • Open Area
  • Blind Area
  • Hidden Area
  • Unknown Area

The open areais things you know about yourself, e.g. behaviour, knowledge, skills, attitudes.

The blind areais things you are not aware of, but that are known by others. This can be simple information that you don’t know or it can involve deep issues (e.g. feeling of inadequacy, incompetence, unworthiness, rejection). These things are often difficult for individuals to face directly and yet can be seen by others.

The hidden area is things you know about yourself but others don’t know.

The unknown area is unknown by you and others.

So what do we do with this knowledge?

The end goal is to enlarge the open area, without disclosing information that is too personal. The more your people know about each other, the more productive, cooperative and effective they will be when working together.

The process of enlarging the open area is called „self-disclosure“, and it’s a give and take process that takes place between yourself and the people you are interacting with.

As you share information, your open area expands (vertically) and your hidden area gets smaller.

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As people provide feedback to you about what they know or see about you, your open area expands horizontally and your blind area gets smaller.

life coaching colouryourdream purpose dream goal (2)

The „Johari Window“ helps to look to your own character and it illustrates the importance of sharing, being open and accepting feedback from others.

 

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Emotional intelligence and flight experiences

Colouryourdream Purpose Goal Dream Emotional Intelligence Plane Airport

As I mentioned earlier before, I am reading an E-book on Emotional intelligence – a dear friend gave it to me, for which I am very thankful: The IQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and your success; 3rd Edition, Steven J. Stein, Ph.D., Howard E.Book, M.D.
I will write here a few things what I was reading yesterday on my 35 hour trip =)

Right now I am reading my E-book on Emotional intelligence – a dear friend gave it to me, for which I am very thankful: The IQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and your success; 3rd Edition, Steven J. Stein, Ph.D., Howard E.Book, M.D.
I will write here a few things what I was reading yesterday on my 35 hour trip =)

Some people think that personality and emotional intelligence is the same – but it’t not!

Our personality and our IQ is more or less “fixed”, e.g. if we are extroverted we are unlikely to become introverted.
But our emotional intelligence is not “fixed”, we are are able to enhance our emotional intelligence.
They found out that the people who are “most successful in their marriages have a particular profile that is more effectual than those who haven’t been able to make their marriage work.” (P.25)

The writers of this book say that in their seminars there are often people who don’t like the word “emotion”. “We are often confronted by disbelievers who make the obligatory crack about “hugging one another” or “women style” taking over the workplace, if not the entire world.
But they say that “often they settle down and start to both listen and learn. These individuals are almost always male. Men are far more apt to denigrate the importance of emotional intelligence – perhaps because of a lingering suspicion that they’re more emotionally challenged. Soon, what the doubter had previously dismissed as intangible or airy-fairy will become solid and clear (…).” (P.27)

What I like is the fact, that we can grow in our emotional intelligence. There is hope =) for each one of us! But the requirement for this is, that you are willing to change. These changes will not come easily, because old habits and behavior are “like old clothes – comfortable, broken-in, reassuring, and predictable. Building unfamiliar skills requires awareness, dedication, and practice on your part.”(P.31)

When you travel a lot with the plane, you know that a lot can go wrong. And in situations like this you really can see if a person has a lot emotional intelligence or not.
I experience this in my work life a lot – so many different people from different background and different countries: How people deal with the same situation – very different depending on the EQ (Emotional Quotient).

I just read read the example of 2 guys at an airport – this reminds me of my day yesterday when I wasn’t able to get on my flight and I needed a quick solution. I was “dependend” on the lady sitting behind the ticket counter!
I want to write here in a short version the scene which I read in the book I mentioned above. And believe me: yesterdey there was a man at the ticket counter similar to this man in the example of the book.

Imagine this: big airport, many passengers waiting for the call to board the plane.
Then the announcement: flight cancelled due to mechanical difficulties.

Two guys, similar important meeting to go, two different reactions:

Guy 1: He is in a rage, it’s a disaster for him, he is out of control (I’ll never fly with you again! You’re incompetent and (….).” He insults and intimidates the ticket agent.
 this guy is “unaccustomed to paying attention to his internal state. He has absolutely no idea how angry he is, even though the people around him can see that he’s ready to explode. He’s incapable of recognizing his feelings, let alone controlling them. His anger makes it impossible for him to think clearly or to act in his own best interest.” (P. 34)
And he reacts not only in this situation like this but also in his personal life.

Guy 2: his position is no less difficult than guy ones situation. But he knows that he must keep cool. He begins to “reflect on other, equally dire situations he has experienced.(…) He spends a minute or so analyzing his predicament, always aware of how he’s feeling. He tells himself to remain calm. There has to be a solution, if only he keeps his head. He can’t quite stem his anxiety, but he pays attention to and understands thoughts that creep in from the edges of his consciousness.
When he reaches the ticket counter, he’s prepared.” (P. 35)
And he sais to the ticket agent that it must be hard for her to deal with all these people and that he feels bad for her what she has to put up with.

The story shows how different people can react and it covers almost every component of emotional intelligence: self awareness, empathy, impulse control, optimism. (P. 36).

Yesterday I had all reasons to react like Guy 1:

– the plane was full so I couln’t fly
– the lady at the ticket counter helped me
– my luggage wasn’t there
– after 30 hours of travelling 1 hour delay due to technical issues

It’s so good to be aware of the feelings and to stay calm. In my case I knew that God has everything in his hand and that there will be a solution – so I stayed calm.
Thanks also to all the people who prayed for my exciting trip! I was amazed how everything worked out in the end! A miraculous trip!

???What about your flight experiences???

(quotes and content from: E-Book: The IQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and your success; 3rd Edition, Steven J. Stein, Ph.D., Howard E.Book, M.D.

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Personal growth

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There is one area in my life where I am quite constant =)

I am constantly thinking about myself – and I question myself a lot. I ask myself:

In which area do I want to grow this year? There are lots of areas where I do want to grow:

– relational
– professional/ carreer
– physical health
– spiritual
– character
– emotional intelligence
– hobbies/ recreation
– partner/ family
and and and…..

Last year I worked on some of these areas with a coach and there is still a lot of work to do =) I love to coach people, but I also love being coached because it keeps me accountable. It’s good to think about myself and challenge myself to move ahead.

In the area character I wrote down a few specific things like being more patient and becoming a better listener. I still have a long way to go…..

Yesterday I looked up again my Myres Briggs profile and how I can grow in my personality in different areas. It shows the strengths and the weaknesses of my personality and it’s so good to read it once in a while. It also helps to see that there are so many personality types and why we get into trouble sometimes with one another!

Every person has gifts that are specific to her/his personality type. And if you recognize these gifts and work on their growth and develop them, you will be more content with yourself. You should embrace your strengths and nourish them.

And there are not only strengths but also weaknesses. Sometimes we only think on our strengths and ignore our weaknesses. But if we want to grow as a person we cannot only value our strengths but also face our weaknesses and work on them. I just thought about that I wrote already a whole list with my weaknesses around 13 or 15 years ago. It’s very interesting to read this list again. Back then I did not now about the Myers Briggs Test yet, but about other tests.

And yesterday I looked especially on my Myers Briggs personality type’s problem areas. So I will be busy this year =) and the following……

?? Do you know the Myers Briggs test?? What personality type are you? What did you discover about yourself so far? What do you have to learn? What do you want to improve??

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