Do you sometimtes honestly express to others how you feel? How do they react? Are they understanding or do they say: „Oh, it’s not that bad’, „Oh, I experienced much harder things“, „Oh, don’t be like this“, „Oh, why do you cry“?
„Lean into your own discomfort and take a moment to acknowledge, not stifle or change other people’s feelings. You don’t have to agree with the way people are feeling, but you do have to recognize those feelings as legitimate and respect them. If you’re known for being terrible with relationships, then this may be a great place to start getting better.“
(Quote: Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Strategy #59)
I exprienced both type of people – but fortunately more the understanding ones, those who understand or really try to understand how a person is feeling. I think this has to do with being able to empathize, with emotional intelligence, how you grew up – what kind of role models you had – were they understanding or not? Did they share their feelings or just „swallowed“ everything?
I think some people can’t really „feel“ (empathize) with you, because they don’t want to be challenged in their „own world“. They don’t want to deal with feelings, just with facts. I think that people who don’t reflect on how they feel, they store up all kinds of feelings inside and one day it will all come up to the surface, e.g. in form of anger, or nasty words, blame.
„If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.“ (Daniel Goleman)
??? I would love to hear from you what you think about this post? What experiences do you have with this???